You are my inspiration, my beautiful one

To my darling daughters R and Sapphire

I am getting so excited for the time when you meet each other, it will be very soon. It was your nanna’s birthday today and she is 78 and really well. She found an old card that you sent her a couple of years ago when you were 5 and you wrote “happy birfday nanna”. How funny is that, how you spelt birthday. She has put it up on the mantle piece as she misses the cards that you would send her if you were with me.

Nanna misses you so much and your great aunty Beryl was there and she asked me to thank a Mr called Christopher Booker as she has read his articles in the newspaper. I will show you both these when you are grown up. He is a very good man and is trying to help us. I saw our friend Keely too and when I showed her a picture of Sapphire, the first thing she said was, she just looked like YOU. It is great that you are so alike. I cannot wait to take you both out together. We are all going to be so excited. We all look like each other; it is great.

Your cousins were at nanna’s and we are going to have a big family party when you are back so that you can see everyone again. I bet you are wondering why you cannot see your family, but don’t worry angel, you will meet up with them again very soon.

Your cousin Angela is having a baby soon and your mummy wants another too!!! I must be mad to want to go through that again but I really love being a mummy. It is the best job in the world. Without you I would not have my strength or my wisdom. You have taught me what love is too. I have learnt everything from you, my angel and I knew nothing of the way of the world before you came into my life. I have so much respect for you, it overwelms me.

I think you are the most incredible little girl that I have ever met. You are smart, beautiful and very funny. You have a natural presence and everyone who meets you can feel that you are a very wonderful individual. You have more natural ability and humility than anyone I have ever met. You are a wonderful person, darling and I am so proud to be able to say that you are my daughter. Sapphire will have the best big sister in the whole world. How amazing is it that I, as an adult can learn so much from such a young girl  as you. I could not live without you ever and I will never leave your side when you are back.

Can you remember when William upset you and you came to me crying?I said ‘stick up for yourself and tell HIM he is mean’. What happened then? He loved you so much. He misses you darling, as you had a really lovely friendship. He really loved how normal and simple you liked things.

We all miss you darling so much. I am on the home straight just like in a horse race. Can you remember the bit in the horse race when mummy used to start shouting and I got louder and louder. When mummy’s horse won I would be going crazy. Can you remember? Well I am going crazy now, as I can feel you coming back into my arms.

It will happen my angel as nothing can stop nature, the power of a mother and her daughter, longing for each other.

We will show people that if you want something and love something strong enough you will get it.

You are my inspiration, my beautiful one. You will make us all happy again.

From your big crazy





About Sabine Kurjo McNeill

I'm a mathematician and system analyst formerly at CERN in Geneva and became an event organiser, software designer, independent web publisher and online promoter of Open Justice. My most significant scientific contribution is
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